Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Jesus & Virgin Mary World Tour

I happened to be reading News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd on Sunday and came across a paragraph entitled, The Jesus and Virgin Mary World Tour. Perhaps this is the latest musical on Broadway. Godspell was revived last year to great acclaim and Jesus Christ Superstar is always a hit. The brief article listed recent playdates and cities--Salt Lake City, Salinas, Monterey, Darlington, England, Lorain, Ohio, Iowa City. The tour didn't make sense from either a timing or geographical perspective. 

Then I notice it's not a musical or play, but the REAL DEAL. Or at least the claim of the REAL DEAL. Jesus appeared in a 3 gallon container of Spumoni ice cream (Salt Lake City). Mary appeared in the floor drain of a restaurant (Salinas). (They weren't even traveling together for this world tour). Mary again appeared in the LEG WOUND of a biker who slid 50 feet along the pavement when he crashed his motorcycle. (Monterey). Jesus appeared in a woman's ultrasound image. (Lorain). Just to show you that Jesus supports consumer culture--he appeared on a Walmart bag in Iowa. 

Unfortunately the article did not contain any pictures!

This brings up a number of questions. If you eat the Spumoni ice cream, is it the same as the host in communion? Ice cream is much tastier than those communion wafers. In many cases of sightings, the object or location of the sighting is preserved and becomes a destination or shrine for pilgrims or just regular tourists who are looking for a thrill. With the case of the leg wound--does the guy let the wound fester, so Mary is preserved? Or cut off his leg and preserve it in formaldehyde? This begs another question. Why would Mary bother with floor drains or leg wounds? Why not make a BIG appearance like at a human rights protest march? 

Now I don't know about you, but if I went in for a sonogram to see if my baby was healthy and perfectly formed and saw Jesus instead, I would FREAK out. Joseph was a very understanding man. Despite being a man of faith, there's no way my husband would believe that Jesus appeared as part of an immaculate conception. Once you got over the shock that Jesus is in your womb, you would then have to contend with the fact that you are going to be the mother of the most important human in history. How's that for pressure? What if you screw-up in your parenting duties? What if your flawed parenting created deep-seeded psychological issues requiring years of therapy? It might impede his important job of saving the world. 

There is a division in the Catholic Church which verifies sightings for authenticity. I'm not sure exactly how one might prove this. I put in a call to the church for comments, but they have yet to get back to me. 

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