Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Peeing in Public

Last night I PEED in public. It was dark, but still... The bathrooms at Suburban Station were closed and my train was 10 minutes late, so by the time I reached my stop, I had been holding it for over an hour. The 8 minute walk to my car was agonizing. Only a 5 minute car ride and then RELIEF. 9pm--I reached my car, got inside and turned the key in the ignition. Nothing. Try again. Nothing again. And again. 

No worries. I'll go to one of the shops/restaurants/gas stations near the parking lot. The Sunoco, Chinese restaurant, pizza place and pharmacy were all CLOSED, even though their signs said they were supposed to be OPEN until 9:30pm. 

I call my husband--once. twice. three times. no answer. HE NEVER ANSWERS WHEN IT IS REALLY IMPORTANT. I start the 30 minute walk home. After 5 minutes, I'm in agony. Men pee outside all the time--against trees, bushes, walls, behind car doors. What is the big deal? I should be able to pee if I need to. I find the nearest yard with bushes. The exterior and interior house lights are on and I briefly debate whether to risk getting caught. The desperate adventurer in me does the yogi squat. Miraculously I manage to avoid peeing on my shoes or pants or brief case. 

My children think this is hysterical. My son--mom, I don't want anyone seeing your butt. My daughter--mom, if they do see your butt, I don't want anyone to know that you are my mom. I'm a bit insulted. My butt is fine. 

p.s. no the picture is not me. it's a woman in bulgaria. i'm a bit envious, because she's mastered the art of peeing while standing. 


  1. Not too long ago, in the heights of Feminism, I saw an add about an interesting article, a kind of paper cone promoted to allow women to pee in the standing position, like men do, without the need of the actual physical equipment. I wonder why that didn't work. Social conventions really suck. I applaude your courage and, by the way, your butt is fine to me too!

  2. I read your blog here and I must say you sound like a real interesting adventurous woman who I would love to be friends with and maybe even share a pee in public session with you sometime! lol. Kidding. But no it's cool of you to share this with us viewers!;) Do be careful where you pee in public, I advised that to anyone!!:)

  3. omg! does that mean your son has seen your butt? :P

  4. You did very well holding on for so long! I would have just found the first patch of grass out of sight. Grass or any plants won't show the wet patch! Your butt? Everone has what!