Saturday, September 26, 2009

How Sexy is YOUR name?

So far, I have avoided taking ANY facebook quizzes (until today). I really don't care 'how well' you know me, nor do I care what Simpsons',  Star Wars or Charlie's Angel character I most closely resemble. I don't feel the need to identify with a particular rockstar, artstar, starstar, emotion, color or food. (Especially if it is from the 80's). So why did I feel the need to take the sexy name test? 

Perhaps, because it did not require effort. I only typed in my name and got my sexy quotient. Colette Copeland, your name is TOO sexy--340 points. So I already KNEW I had a cool name. I wasn't satisfied. The quiz didn't divulge what constitutes a SEXY name. What is the criteria that the hidden Facebook judges use to determine sexiness? Most importantly, who has TIME to come up with these ridiculous quizzes? 

Because I was procrastinating and avoiding editing multitudes of essays, I decided to continue to test facebook. My brother-in-law FB chatted me telling me that he scored a 308. hmmm His name is rather common--Christopher Roger Williams. Then my friend Asif Talukdar FB me, saying that he only scored a  58. How can this be? 

I immediately put in my sisters' names. No competition there. Candy Cash--165, Carla Peace--227, and Courtney Courie--259. First of all, I don't think it gets much sexier than Candy Cash. Come on--let's be real here. And second of all, her message was DAMN sexy. I don't know about you, but I think DAMN sexy is WAY better than TOO sexy. You definitely have the curse word going for you. Of course I am HAPPY that my score beats out my sisters' scores.

Next I put in Ian Williams (yawn)--214. Next I put in Ian Copeland--243. This just proves my point. I TRIED to convince Ian to take my name, but to no avail. 

Kids--Camille Williams--323. When I ADD her middle name (MY NAME) Camille Copeland Williams, her score shoots to 503, proving that her middle name ROCKS. Cole Williams--248, but Cole Roger Williams--345 and Cole Roger Williams III--375. What does this prove? That sexiness is derived from names with more than 3 words and numerals? Or that the FACEBOOK QUIZZES ARE BOTH RACIST AND CLASSIST?

Just for fun, I put in my full name, which includes my mother's maiden name, my father's name and my stepfather's name--Colette Carpenter Copeland Cash and broke the bank--594 POINTS!! Unfortunately I'm still in the TOO sexy category, which seems somewhat unfair, given that I just increased 250 points. Ian will be happy to note that when his name is added to the already unwieldy name of Colette Carpenter Copeland Cash Williams that I'm now up to 745 points. STILL TOO SEXY.

So what can be concluded from this utter waste of time? 

However, you can log-on and take your own sexy name quiz or join the facebook group--

This group is mostly addressed to all those people who hate these stupid quizzes on facebook...join in guys i know there are alot of you who hate them!!


  1. It's because of all the 'L's.... that would be my guess... L is supposed to be considered a sexy sounding letter... the more L's the sexier. I would guess that 'S's are sexy too.

    So now I went back and tried some absurdly L heavy name... and it scored surprisingly low... and then I ran my name for the second time and the results were completely different... so the answer is.... this was all a RANDOM waste of time for all of us :-)

  2. Your name oozes sex appeal. If you didn't score off the charts, it's fixed.