Sex Overload

I received a gift subscription to Women's Health magazine recently. Actually it was a Christmas gift, but the first two issues arrived last week--only 6 months late. June, July and August--a bundle of summer reading pleasure. I'm not sure what I was expecting--perhaps a few tips to improve my uh--health. Imagine my surprise to find  that Women's Health is really COSMO in disguise with a few health tips and recipes thrown in for good measure. 

Here are a few of the juicy headlines:

HOT BODY SECRETS (this one immediately caught my 11yr old son's attention)

IMPROVE YOUR NUDE ATTITUDE 

SEX NEWS YOU CAN USE TONIGHT

THE BELLY-RUBBING HIGH (this one was about how pregnant women get off on having their belly rubbed--I so didn't make that up)

7 SEXY PLACES TO GET IT ON OUTDOORS

101 RED-HOT SEX BOOSTERS

THE ULTIMATE STAYCATION

MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE A MAN

The not-so juicy headlines all focused on how to have a better body or look better in order to have better sex. 

GET A BEACH-READY BODY

SHOW SOME LEG

TAME TUMMY TROUBLE

EAT THIS, NOT THAT

DITCH THE GYM (I do admit to reading that one. Unfortunately you still have to exercise, you just do it outside of the gym. No secret there.)

Are you noticing a trend here? It seems that women's health is all about sex. And apparently women must not be having enough of it or getting enough satisfaction to the point that they are becoming UNHEALTHY. 

Or it could be that no one cares about health and the only way to sell magazines is to include SEX TIPS.

It takes a lot to embarrass me. Even though I was reading the magazine ALONE in the house, I felt my cheeks burning and it wasn't from the recipe for FIRE-ROASTED FRUIT SALAD. 

I have to keep this PG13 in case my children or some of their friends read it and want to employ the sex booster tips. Not until you are married, kids. 

In case you grown-ups need the sex booster tips, they are on pages 122-127 of the June issue. I'll give you a few hints that are supposed to increase the big O. One involves stilettos. A few describe various animal positions. Lots involved toys which require batteries. Only one involved yoga--take up Kundalini. A few involved body parts that I didn't know I had. Some seemed ridiculous--bake a pumpkin pie, rub pinkies, eat a chili pepper (that just sounded dangerous). 

I did get a good laugh and got a killer recipe for fire-roasted fruit salad. Oh--and a tip from a health expert (who of course is male). The best remedy for good health is to have sex four times a week. My husband's ears perked up on that one.